You, ma'am, are a salad.

I do not like every single person in the world. I also don't like olives in my salad. This occurred to me the other day when I became the victim of selective exclusion, or as it is more widely known, being left out. Everyone in the world is like a salad ingredient.

Thank goodness I had the wonder that is Facebook to thank for alerting me that I was being excluded from another person's salad. I must say first that if you are friends on Facebook with the person you are excluding from aforementioned activity, you should probably not post anything about aforementioned activity. In doing this, you have just reminded me that I am the olive in your salad.

Often, I will make a salad and not even inform the olives that I have made one. They usually find out, though. They see the dirty salad bowl in the sink and maybe they see me sneaking the salad dressing back in the fridge, but they know. Those olives aren't dumb. They just have more class than to confront me or to just brazenly hop into my salad. They know better. I would just push them to the side and make them feel unwelcome. The tomatoes would whisper to me, "Who brought Olive?" To which I would reply, "I have no idea how she knew, she's always been a little dramatic."

That's ok that I'm the olive in someone's salad. Not everyone has to like me, I don't have to like everyone. If I'm going to be an olive, I'm going to be one of those expensive blue cheese and caviar stuffed olives. Now I don't belong in your salad, I'm best just eaten alone with a good red wine.

Why did Hollywood attack the books?

I just wanted to post this to let everyone know that my childhood memories are crushed. Completely obliterated. I recently had the misfortune of viewing "Where the Wild Things Are."
I have been stoked about seeing the movie because I loved the book when I was little. It was so magical and wonderful. I just knew that with all our wonderful new technology and camera and computer tricks that the movie would kick ass. Oh, but I was WRONG!
About twenty minutes into the movie I realized that the movie producers and I did not read the same version of the book. Either that, or perhaps they had smoked a ton of pot and this is what they saw after reading the book and passing out. Miles and I were both confused and disappointed through the entire movie. It hints at addiction and someone needing help so much that I wasn't entirely sure it wasn't the latest episode of Celebrity Rehab. If you insist on watching it, be aware that it will damage your childhood memories of playing make-believe while thinking of this book.
I'm all for the children's stories that we all loved and grew up with being made over to appeal to the twenties and thirties crowd. Trust me, I love the new Alice in Wonderland. I think they should give all Disney movies a darker makeover and put them in 3-D. Yes, I'll pay to watch every single one.
It was like watching someone come up and attack my childhood memories, slap them around a bit, and anally rape them while I watched.
I just think they should do a better job with future movie projects than they did with "Where the Wild Things Are, " or as I now call it "What the Hell Did They Do To My Favorite Children's Book." I don't think anyone should view this movie. Ever.